I'll Listen

Lately, I have been faced with friends having troubles with their own marriages. Some having third parties, and some just having a hard time with their partner and relationship itself. I am no expert when it comes to love problems so I really don't know what's the best thing to say to them. So I chose to just be the LISTENER. Yeah, the soundboard, the shock-absorber, the shoulder-to-cry-on. Sometimes I do give my two-cents regarding certain things, but that doesn't mean that it's the solution to their problem. Because in reality, people with relationship problems just want someone who will listen and not someone who will judge them and shower them with sermons and advices. It's a great relief for them to have someone who will empathize with them with what they're going through, an outlet of all the emotions that they are keeping inside.

I always say that a "Thank you" is not needed after the talk. Because indeed it really is not needed. The fact that I have been trusted to know the details of the problem is a big thing in itself. Another thing, in some cases their problems become an example of what I should and should not do with my own marriage. It also validates the "love and care" that I have for my own marriage.

To all my friends who have been down lately, it's my turn now to say "thank you". Thank you for the trust...with that trust, you made me feel special. And remember, you are more than welcome to come to me...I'll listen. =)

Friends tagged along with the Spider

i'm having a hard time breathing...hahaha...due to excessive laughing!!! I heard my 3-year old son singing the nursery rhyme "The Itsy-Bitsy Spider" but he has his VERY OWN lyrics:

"The ipis, ipis spider went up the water spout..."

For the spider it's kinda sad nga naman being on the journey up the spout alone, so he tagged along with him his two cockroach (ipis) friends. What a wonderful hike it turned out despite the rain hehe.

I Support Breastfeeding!!!

As early as my 4th month of being pregnant, I noticed that not only did my boobs swelled up but are also leaking with milk-like substance already. I guess I am one of those really, really blessed with an abundant supply of milk. With that, plus the fact that my mother breastfed all 3 of us siblings, I wholeheartedly welcomed and embraced the thought of breastfeeding.

I exclusively breastfed my eldest. So when we learned that we were pregnant again, we talked to Kuya who is at that time almost 24 months old. My husband and I told him that much as I want to still nurse him, our bunso will have to be the priority when it comes to breastfeeding. After a lot of cajoling and heartbreaking whimpers from Kuya, he eventually was weaned. But when I gave birth and he sees me nursing our bunso, he would insist on being nursed as well. And so, Kuya regressed, something which his pedia and I approved of but only for some time. Because I do not want him harboring any bad feelings towards his baby brother.

As a breastfeeding mother, I know that I have to take care of myself as well by eating healthy and by taking vitamins or supplements. But I am not a fan of the latter, I tend to forget about taking those stuff. So, having the two kids nurse from me took its toll on me last May 5, 2009. I was rushed to the hospital due to numbness and paralysis of both my hands. After a battery of tests, it was found out that the potassium and calcium stores in my body crashed. Medicines were directly injected into my veins to help bring up the potassium and calcium levels of my body. Afterwhich, I was feeling a lot better already. I was advised to have a daily intake of milk and vitamins.

I didn't mean to scare any of you breastfeeding moms or wannabes out there with the story that I shared. It's just a reminder and wake-up call to those who are like me before. For us to fully enjoy this privilege of nursing our kids, taking care of them and watching them grow up we should be responsible enough to take care of ourselves as well. But what the heck, look at me despite what happened I STILL AM a proud breastfeeding mom.

Down He Went

Yup you've read it right, my eldest kid, kuya AJ (3y.o.), fell down from the stairs! just wanna share coz until now i still feel sad and shocked about what happened.

It happened last night, we went to my aunt's house to attend the despedida party for my uncle. i asked my tatay to look after AJ coz i'll be going upstairs to BF my bunso; my husband went out to look for another slot to park our car. knowing how hard-headed my kid is, wala nagawa si tatay when my kid followed me upstair. after a few minutes of playing, kuya told me he wanted to go downstairs already. i tod him to wait for me while i turn off the lights, electric fan and TV. so i turned my back on him, it was just a matter of seconds. and then i heard his footsteps as he goes down the stairs. i saw him reach the "corner"-part of the stairs (yung parang triangular slice ng cake ang itsura)...i was about to call his attention and tell him to wait for me...then IT happened...i saw his foot slipped that "corner portion"!!!!! i saw him tumble down the stairs...5 to 6 more steps pa un pababa. good thing was he was catched by my cousin before his head hit the floor.

I was carrying bunso that time...hindi ko alam kung ano gagawin ko. it was as if my feet were nailed on the floor, i was dumbstruck by what happened. nakagalaw na lang ako when i heard him cry. hubby got in the house, so he carried AJ...and then natulala na naman ako kase i saw his lips and his nose were profusely bleeding. the only time i moved was when my uncle handed me a towel with ice at un ang nilagay namen kay kuya. buti na lang andun sila nanay at mga titas ko...naku kung hindi baka hindi ko nakalma sarili ko. my uncle is a professional lifeguard abroad so in a way he has knowledge on first-aid and initial diagnosis on accidents. he advised us to observe kuya na lang for 8hours...kung wala naman sha irereklamong pain or anything pwede ng hindi dalin sa doctor. kua AJ didn't sustain any bump/bukol sa any part ng head nya, nor did he have any sprain/bali. ung sugat lang sa lips at loob ng nose talaga.

It's now 19hrs, after that incident...my kuya is UP and makulit pa din. i guess that's another part of his childhood and another part of parenthood that we experienced...hopefully wala na ulit mangyari na ganun...nakaka-guilty eh. it makes my husband and i wish na sana kame na lang nalaglag.

From a kid's point of view

Lately, you'll often hear me and my husband shout our hearts and lungs out: "NO!", "Stop it!" or "Do you want to stand at the corner?"

It got me thinking, as a parent, it gets tiring to constantly be on the look-out for any misbehavior that my kid will do, how much more for a child like him to be constantly yelled upon and apprehended? I bet sawang-sawa na din siya na pinapagalitan siya, di ba? But he's a child and a child will always be a child, no matter what.

The next time I have the urge to call his attention and scold him, I will think of the lines below and imagine my kid explaining to me...things that I think are the reason why my Kuya is acting like he is...the typical rowdy and mischievous three-year-old.

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"Often times when you call for me and I don't heed to your call right away, it doesn't mean I don't listen to you, maybe it's because I'm too engrossed with the toy I'm playing with. I am not an adult who knows the concept of multi-tasking."

"Sometimes when I get over-'makulit', maybe it's because of the sugar in the candy or chocolate that you gave me."

"When I shout or throw things because I'm angry at my brother for hitting me in the face with the toy car or frustrated because I can't put into order the toys the way I want it, I hope you won't take it against me, because much as I want to control my emotions I can't. You as adults are having a hard time containing your emotions, ako pa kaya na bata pa lang."

"When you tell me 'No', the curious side of me wants to know the reason behind your 'No' that's why I still do it anyway."

"It is only natural for me to love jumping, running, tumbling or any other physical stunt because it is at this point in my life that I'm learning to fully coordinate my motor skills."

"I hope you won't get tired of pointing out to me all the colors, teaching me the alphabet, numbers, shapes, etc. and correcting me patiently, I can't help if my mind tends to wander off to that new show on TV."

"At times, I do misbehave on purpose. Why? Because I miss the undivided attention that you are giving me before our 'bunso' came. I guess I just got used to being your one and only. But don't worry I'm now getting use to and loving every moment of having a new playmate around."

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I don't like the heavy feeling when I scold my kid, so I guess trying to understand what a child really is and what goes through his head is the best solution to this. In the end, the parents are happy and the kid is happy as well.

So Sweet...So Cheesy

When God showered all the "sweetness" in world, I guess my husband is one of those not present during the event or most probably at the back row of the multitude of men swarming over to catch the gift of "sweetness". I can say that he's the typical guy, "pa-macho-effect", one who you won't catch being all sweet and surprises his girl with gifts or what-have-yous. In fact, I have accepted the fact that he's all that and would even just joke him about it.

But one day, out of the blue, he nonchalantly handed me a print-out of a song's lyrics. It's "Don't Change" by Musiq Soulchild. I heard the song plenty of times before, but I didn't mind the words of the song then. When I read the lyrics, it was as if my husband was the one telling me those lines.

Here's the song...namnamin niyo ung lyrics:

Lately you’ve been questioning
If I still see you the same way
'Cause through these trying years
We gonna both physically change
Now don’t you know you’ll always be
The most beautiful woman I know
So let me reassure you, darlin’
That my feelings are truly unconditional, see


I’ll love you when your hair turns gray, girl
I’ll still want you if you gain a little weight, yeah
The way I feel for you will always be the same
Just as long as your love don’t change, oh
I was meant for you and you we’re meant for me, yeah
And I make sure that I’ll be everything you need, yeah
Girl, the way we are is how it’s gonna be
Just as long as your love don’t change


‘Cause I’m not impressed more or less
By them girls on the TV and magazines
‘Cause honestly I believe
That your beauty is way more than skin deep
‘Cause everything about you
Makes me feel I have the greatest gift in the world
And even when you get on my last nerve
I couldn’t see myself being with another girl



I’ll love you when my hair turns gray, girl
And I’ll still want you if you gain little weight, yeah
The way I feel for you will always be the same
Just as long as your love don’t change
I was meant for you and you we’re meant for me, yeah

And I make sure that I’ll be everything you need, yeah
Girl, the way we are is how it’s gonna be
Just as long as your love don’t change

So don’t, don’t waste your time
Worryin’ about small things that ain’t relevant to me
‘Cause to my understanding
You’re all I want and need


See, what I’m gonna say is I’m here to stay
And as long as your love doesn’t change for me
Baby, darlin’, I swear
I swear I ain’t going nowhere, no


I’ll love you when your hair turns gray, girl
And I still want you if you gained a little weight, yeah
The way I feel for you will always be the same
Just as long as your love don’t change
I was meant for you and you we’re meant for me, yeah
And I make sure that I’ll be everything you need, yeah
Girl, the way we are is how it’s gonna be
Just as long as your love don’t change


You’re my baby, yeah
Don’t you change, baby, no
Baby, you got to understand that
I love you, baby, yeah
Don’t you know, you got to know



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I never imagined myself saying this...thanks for being sweet. I love you my husband, my Plado.

I am a Career Woman

Way back during my college years, I foresee myself as a corporate woman. When I landed the job as an Associate I.T. Specialist a.k.a. Programmer, I achieved that dream and then I foresee myself like "Boss Kat" in 10-years time (Boss Kat is the intelligent, intimidating, ever-fashionable VP of the IT Department that I worked with then).

Four years down the path to being my own person's "Boss Kat", I stumbled into the so-called blissful married life. I gave up my career without any hesitations...why? Because I am part of the percentage of women who aren't blessed with an easy pregnancy. In fact, for my husband and I, it was a hit and miss thing. I had a number of miscarriages before the pregnancies with my two kids became a success, BUT both times are high-risk pregnancies.

At present, many years after I left the corporate world, I admit that I still do miss the feeling of cramming for deadlines, waking up early so as not to be late for work, dressing up, programming, debugging, attending meetings, talking to users about a new project and the likes. At times, I even fear that when the time comes that I want to go back to work I might not be hired anymore because I'm now nearing my thirties.

But hey wait...I do have work...I have two little bosses that demand every bit of my attention and time. I always have deadlines because in every move the kids make is a deadline that has to be met, if not the daily schedule or routine will be a disaster. I wake up early because once they open their eyes work begins (they don't even give me time to wash my face). I still do dress up, I dress up and play pretend with them. I still do programming and debugging...I program them, at times by trial and error, and discipline them into growing to be well-rounded individuals. I attend meetings...with my kids and Dibo the gift dragon, Mickey Mouse, Special Agent Oso and the whole gang of Playhouse Disney. New projects? Well, I talk to my husband about our plans for the kids' future, new things we want to buy for them, new ways on how discipline them, etc. Well I may not receive any monetary reward or special award for this job, but what I get in return is priceless and can not be compared to any amount of money...the laughter I hear when I goof around with them, being witness to their milestones as kids, the contentment of seeing them both healthy, being able to kiss away the pain of the boo-boos, the kisses, the hugs, the "i love yous" and the love and magic I feel when they call me "Mama".

I was and still am a career woman...kina-career ko ang MOTHERHOOD in heart, mind and soul.

Tatay...

tatay on his first flight out of the country... =(

January 12, 1990.

As a child, that's one of the saddest days I've had. I was a grade-4 student then. Upon arriving from school that day, I've sensed something missing at home. I panicked, because I dreaded that day to come so I immediately went inside my parents' bedroom and I saw that it was only my pregnant Nanay who was in there. And it confirmed the thought that I had...my Tatay already left us. Ooooopsssss, it isn't what you're thinking...he didn't die (GOD FORBID!!!) nor did he leave us for another girl. He already left for Japan, to work there as an OFW. I know that he is already bound for abroad, but as a 10-year-old kid I don't have that much interest on the specifics of things. Our Nanay told us that my Tatay's group had been called for an "immediate departure" so we didn't get the chance to say goodbye to him. My younger sister and I cried ourselves to sleep that night.

Days, months, years zoomed by. Birthdays, graduations and other important events passed by...still Tatay stayed in Japan to work, to provide for us. Never a day passed that I didn't miss him. He stayed there for 11 loooooooooonnngggg years. He didn't get that chance to come home because he worked there as a TNT (his work papers are not legal). Some said that he already had a family there, but I knew and I believed that in my heart of hearts that my Tatay can never do anything to hurt us.

I graduated from college and started working. I very much wanted for Tatay to come home already, because I wanted to be the one to work for the family in return for all the sacrifices that he and my mother did for us. He said he would have to stay a little bit longer because he wanted to save some more for my brother's schooling. But come September 2001, our Lola (Tatay's mother) died. He had no choice but to come home.

On the way to the airport, I felt excited, happy and sad. It really was a roller-coaster of emotions. I was excited and happy because after 11 years I'd get to see him and hug him and kiss my Tatay again. I was sad because it took 11 years for me to see him and hug him and kiss him again. I already saw him from afar, I was trying to hold back the tears because he already looked old. I felt that it isn't fair for him to have grown old without us by his side. I also felt happy and sad for my youngest brother, because it was the first time that they ever laid eyes on each other personally (Nanay gave birth to my brother 5 days after Tatay left).

I'm very much happy he's back. But having him back took a little bit of adjustment for us. Imagine, he left us as little daddy's girls and when he got back we're already independent ladies. Honestly, I didn't get to bond with him as much my younger sister and brother did. Much as I want to bond with him there's work, friends, night-outs, love-life. I guess I took for granted the idea that he'll be here for good already.

Two years after he came home, I got married. I now have my own family and we live quite far from my parents' house. We visit them as much as we can every week. There are times when I'm alone waiting for my husband to arrive from work and the kids are already asleep, I get that feeling from way back when I was a child when my Tatay is abroad. I still miss my Tatay. Maybe because I don't get to spend much time with him anymore, I am not as updated with his activities as I used to. Maybe simply because deep inside I long to be that little girl...tatay's little girl again.

I love you tay.

Kiddie Anecdotes

I have two kids, two boys to be exact; one is a 3-year-old and the other one just turned one last month. It can be so amazing how kids like them can make us laugh or melt our hearts with the most trivial and silliest things they say and do. I would just like to share with you some of those moments. Read on.

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I always love to sing along with whatever it is being played on the radio or whenever I just feel like singing. One time, while inside our car, my eldest son told me to stop singing. Thinking that he was just disturbed by my loud voice, I just sang quietly, but still loud enough for him to hear me. Again, he said "Ma, stop singing." I asked him, "Why?" He answered back "Because you don't sing good, you're off-key."
Here's another, I was humming and singing my youngest kid to sleep. My kid keeps on fidgeting and crying. So I stopped singing, guess what? My kid fell asleep as soon as I stopped.
WHEW!!! These two incidents got me thinking...do I really sound that bad when I sing?!?! Hahaha...maybe I really do sound sooooo bad that even kids don't like what they hear. How come no one bothered telling me this before. All the while I thought I can carry a tune...it frustrates me. Well I guess I'll just have to sing when I'm pretty sure that no one can hear me or I'll just sing in my head.
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I am a breastfeeding mom eversince I gave birth. When our 2nd baby came, the nursing sessions with the eldest kid lessened but did not fully stop. Months before his 3rd birthday, we started controlling and telling him to start taking his milk from a feeding bottle or from a cup. I told him, "When you turn 3, no more nursing/feeding sessions for you anymore, you'll be a big-boy by that time." He retorted "OK, when I finish being a 3-year-old I can nurse from you again." Smart kid, isn't he?!
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It was nap time for the kids. Time for me to cool down and relax a bit. I was really stressed, tired and burdened by a certain problem that day, that I broke down and cried silently with eyes closed. Suddenly I felt something move. It was my youngest kid, he was already awake. He was looking at me, as if trying to decipher what was happening to me. I continued crying anyway because I thought that he wouldn't understand and remember that I'm crying since he is still a baby. Lo' and behold, he crawled next to me and looked me in the eye, as if telling me to stop crying and that he understands what I am feeling. Next thing I knew I was smiling because he kissed me on the lips. That wet kiss from my baby took away all the stress and problem I was thinking at that moment.

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These are just some of the oh-so-many touching and silly moments courtesy of my boys. It just shows how funny, honest, naive and uncorrupted their minds and hearts are.