The Gift Called Motherhood

My boys...my AJs

My husband and I waited for almost three-seems-like-forever-long-years to be parents after getting married. We almost gave up due to my miscarriages and ALWAYS high-risk pregnancies. But everything was worth the wait when we were blessed with our AJs...Aldric Jarett and Arkin Jayden. Two inviduals that truly and oficially made me a certified mother.

Reality smacked me into my senses that i am really a mother while talking to a friend over the phone. I was telling her about my kids and stuff, when suddenly she said "Mommy ka na talaga!". It made me realize that indeed I really am a mother now. True, that being married had me used to the "we" or "us" principle already, but motherhood is a different story. It made me look within me and see myself in a new light.

I've realized that my time is not mine alone anymore. There are times that i'd delay and forget my own needs for their sake. I even have mastered the art of taking a less-than-5-minute bath. I willingly and whole-heartedly gave-up my career so as to fully devote my time to them most especially now that they are in their formative years.

I've realized that money in my hands are not mine alone. When in the mall and I see a pretty dress or a really hot stiletto or a good book, I think about a hundred times before purchasing them (and more often than not, I end up going home empty-handed hehe). I think more of my kids' future, what they need, what will look good on them or what's the newest "it" thing for kids their ages. The following will have to wait at bay for now: my pocketbook collection, fashion sense, food cravings, my "dream" to study again and other personal wants and needs.

I've realized that my life is not my life alone anymore. As kids, their lives depend on me. That's why i have to take care of my self better than ever, most especially after being being diagnosed with hyperthyroid and hypokalemia (I'll make a different story about that later hehe). I have be a SuperWoman to protect my boys from anything that might hurt them, to be able to enjoy playing with them and watch them grow up.

I must admit that at times it all seems like all I do is to sacrifice, but really, it is no sacrifice on my part because as cliche as it may sound I love being a mother. But honestly, i don't love every single minute of it (especially when the kids get hysterical or gaga over something and the disciplining part), but as a whole I'm thankful to God that He entrusted me with this gift. A gift that I will forever treasure.

I Support Breastfeeding!!!

As early as my 4th month of being pregnant, I noticed that not only did my boobs swelled up but are also leaking with milk-like substance already. I guess I am one of those really, really blessed with an abundant supply of milk. With that, plus the fact that my mother breastfed all 3 of us siblings, I wholeheartedly welcomed and embraced the thought of breastfeeding.

I exclusively breastfed my eldest. So when we learned that we were pregnant again, we talked to Kuya who is at that time almost 24 months old. My husband and I told him that much as I want to still nurse him, our bunso will have to be the priority when it comes to breastfeeding. After a lot of cajoling and heartbreaking whimpers from Kuya, he eventually was weaned. But when I gave birth and he sees me nursing our bunso, he would insist on being nursed as well. And so, Kuya regressed, something which his pedia and I approved of but only for some time. Because I do not want him harboring any bad feelings towards his baby brother.

As a breastfeeding mother, I know that I have to take care of myself as well by eating healthy and by taking vitamins or supplements. But I am not a fan of the latter, I tend to forget about taking those stuff. So, having the two kids nurse from me took its toll on me last May 5, 2009. I was rushed to the hospital due to numbness and paralysis of both my hands. After a battery of tests, it was found out that the potassium and calcium stores in my body crashed. Medicines were directly injected into my veins to help bring up the potassium and calcium levels of my body. Afterwhich, I was feeling a lot better already. I was advised to have a daily intake of milk and vitamins.

I didn't mean to scare any of you breastfeeding moms or wannabes out there with the story that I shared. It's just a reminder and wake-up call to those who are like me before. For us to fully enjoy this privilege of nursing our kids, taking care of them and watching them grow up we should be responsible enough to take care of ourselves as well. But what the heck, look at me despite what happened I STILL AM a proud breastfeeding mom.

Kiddie Anecdotes

I have two kids, two boys to be exact; one is a 3-year-old and the other one just turned one last month. It can be so amazing how kids like them can make us laugh or melt our hearts with the most trivial and silliest things they say and do. I would just like to share with you some of those moments. Read on.

-----

I always love to sing along with whatever it is being played on the radio or whenever I just feel like singing. One time, while inside our car, my eldest son told me to stop singing. Thinking that he was just disturbed by my loud voice, I just sang quietly, but still loud enough for him to hear me. Again, he said "Ma, stop singing." I asked him, "Why?" He answered back "Because you don't sing good, you're off-key."
Here's another, I was humming and singing my youngest kid to sleep. My kid keeps on fidgeting and crying. So I stopped singing, guess what? My kid fell asleep as soon as I stopped.
WHEW!!! These two incidents got me thinking...do I really sound that bad when I sing?!?! Hahaha...maybe I really do sound sooooo bad that even kids don't like what they hear. How come no one bothered telling me this before. All the while I thought I can carry a tune...it frustrates me. Well I guess I'll just have to sing when I'm pretty sure that no one can hear me or I'll just sing in my head.
-----

I am a breastfeeding mom eversince I gave birth. When our 2nd baby came, the nursing sessions with the eldest kid lessened but did not fully stop. Months before his 3rd birthday, we started controlling and telling him to start taking his milk from a feeding bottle or from a cup. I told him, "When you turn 3, no more nursing/feeding sessions for you anymore, you'll be a big-boy by that time." He retorted "OK, when I finish being a 3-year-old I can nurse from you again." Smart kid, isn't he?!
-----

It was nap time for the kids. Time for me to cool down and relax a bit. I was really stressed, tired and burdened by a certain problem that day, that I broke down and cried silently with eyes closed. Suddenly I felt something move. It was my youngest kid, he was already awake. He was looking at me, as if trying to decipher what was happening to me. I continued crying anyway because I thought that he wouldn't understand and remember that I'm crying since he is still a baby. Lo' and behold, he crawled next to me and looked me in the eye, as if telling me to stop crying and that he understands what I am feeling. Next thing I knew I was smiling because he kissed me on the lips. That wet kiss from my baby took away all the stress and problem I was thinking at that moment.

-----

These are just some of the oh-so-many touching and silly moments courtesy of my boys. It just shows how funny, honest, naive and uncorrupted their minds and hearts are.