Wednesday, April 21, 2010

The Gift Called Motherhood

My AJs

My husband and I waited for almost three-seems-like-forever-long-years to be parents after getting married. We almost gave up due to my miscarriages and ALWAYS high-risk pregnancies. But everything was worth the wait when we were blessed with our AJs...Aldric Jarett and Arkin Jayden. Two inviduals that truly and oficially made me a certified mother.

Reality smacked me into my senses that i am really a mother while talking to a friend over the phone. I was telling her about my kids and stuff, when suddenly she said "Mommy ka na talaga!". It made me realize that indeed I really am a mother now. True, that being married had me used to the "we" or "us" principle already, but motherhood is a different story. It made me look within me and see myself in a new light.

I've realized that my time is not mine alone anymore. There are times that i'd delay and forget my own needs for their sake. I even have mastered the art of taking a less-than-5-minute bath. I willingly and whole-heartedly gave-up my career so as to fully devote my time to them most especially now that they are in their formative years.

I've realized that money in my hands are not mine alone. When in the mall and I see a pretty dress or a really hot stiletto or a good book, I think about a hundred times before purchasing them (and more often than not, I end up going home empty-handed hehe). I think more of my kids' future, what they need, what will look good on them or what's the newest "it" thing for kids their ages. The following will have to wait at bay for now: my pocketbook collection, fashion sense, food cravings, my "dream" to study again and other personal wants and needs.

I've realized that my life is not my life alone anymore. As kids, their lives depend on me. That's why i have to take care of my self better than ever, most especially after being being diagnosed with hyperthyroid and hypokalemia (I'll make a different story about that later hehe). I have be a SuperWoman to protect my boys from anything that might hurt them, to be able to enjoy playing with them and watch them grow up.

I must admit that at times it all seems like all I do is to sacrifice, but really, it is no sacrifice on my part because as cliche as it may sound I love being a mother. But honestly, i don't love every single minute of it (especially when the kids get hysterical or gaga over something and the disciplining part), but as a whole I'm thankful to God that He entrusted me with this gift. A gift that I will forever treasure.

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